Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Eye

I was bored to death, nothing to do around the house, all my friends had gone on holiday or were out with other friends. So I decided to have a stroll down the beach by myself! The sea was so calm and it looked like a big blue blanket. The sea was beautiful but the wind was chilly, the sand squelched between my toes it was all wet and soft.

While I was walking there were adults chatting, children playing in the sand with spades and buckets, dogs swimming in the ocean. It was such a hot day it seemed like everyone was out on the beach. The flags were flapping wildly in the wind like they wanted to float off into the air.

All the shells were hiding in the sand with the crabs but wait... something big and colorful was drifting on top of the water not so far out. I took off my shoes and step into the water, it felt like I had just been put straight into a fringe. I waded out into the water until it came up to my knees, it felt terrible having soggy jeans on my skin it felt like I had a rash all over my legs.

I stared at the thing for a while, then I picked it up and turned it over. Everyone must of thought the world was going to end. I screeched like I was in pain but I wasn’t. There was a big bugling eye staring right back at me. I dropped it in horror and sunk my head into my hands. Suddenly I felt something wet and thick cover my face. I took my hands off my head and screamed again, at the moment you are probably thinking I am just a scaredy cat, but no. Dripping from my hands down to my top was blood! Bright red, oozing blood it was everywhere even down my nice new top I brought just yesterday.

I had to have another peek at the thing. So I urged my hands forward, dug them under the waves and flicked my head away and felt the thing with my fingertips. I put my hands under the rock hard shell and slowly brought it out of the water.

I had a sniff and that's when it got worse. My nose couldn’t take the smell one bit. I turned my head away, it smelt like old fish. I glared back at it and touched it, once I pulled my finger back, it was infected with this slime. It looked like my dogs spit. I just had to report this into the life guards!

I ran up the beach like a maniac and skidded between the people on the beach. I couldn’t hold onto the thing for too much longer, it was just disgusting. People gasped at me with big eyes like I had hurt their child which I had not! I had just pushed them aside. I finally made it, I climbed up the stairs in a hurry then dropped the thing on someones desk.

The man frowned at me and looked down at the thing. He stared at it for a few seconds then gulped. “Hello there young lady! What have you brought to me?” I smirked in a kind of way then replied “I don’t know?! It was floating in the water”.

All of a sudden a huge man came scampering into the room with a magnifying glass and checked it all of over even the inside of it. “Mam I think you have just discovered a squid or whales even an octopus eye, its incredible.” “Yuck!” “May I do some studying on it?” “ Sure! keep it man why would I want it?” I walked out of the room and hurried home before Mum got home and saw my blood, red, soaking top. I ran through the kitchen. Mum glanced at me and went red with anger, before she could say anything “It’s a long story anyway I never liked this top.”
A couple of days later! Mum came running in with the newspaper and shoved it in front of my face. I read the heading out loud “Young Girl Discovered A Huge Eye”. I knew at once after the heading that I didn’t need to read anything more or Mum would find out. So I scrunched it up and chucked it into the bin. “ I swear you were there, didn’t that picture look exactly like you?” I smiled back at her “Don’t be silly Mum I didn’t find an eye, even if I did would I even touch it?” “ I suppose not...” Then she walked out of the room!       


  1. Wow Natasha. Great story I love it:) What if this happened in real life to you what would you do?

    1. Thanks Katrina!
      I don't know it would be pretty disgusting. What about you?

  2. Amazing story Tash!
    I was so interested in reading it that I couldn't stop reading!
    Keep up the great work!

  3. I loved the beginning of your story, Natasha. You really captured my attention with your description of the beach and the day. Well done.

    1. Thank you so much!
      I really enjoyed writing this story:)

  4. Wow Natasha. Your storys keep getting better and better. It felt like it real. Great work.

  5. Awesome Natasha

    I love the writing it makes you feel like you are really there when you read it. It was a a twist of a story. Cool!

    Courtney :)

  6. Awesome writing I like the the words you were using.
    Well done.

  7. Awesome Tash!
    I love your story.
    Keep up the GREAT work.

  8. Wow, you got me going there, Natasha. I thought 'Did this actually happen to Natasha, lol. You caught my imagination!!

    1. Thank you!
      No! it was actually a true actual on kiwi kids news. We had to pretend it was us that had found the eye:)

  9. Magnificent Tash!
    This piece of writing is outstanding. I can really get a picture in my head.
    I especially like the end, What is your favourite part?

    1. Thanks Parris!
      The start where I am describing the beach.

  10. Awesome story Natasha, I like how you used the words oozing and scrunched!

  11. Awesome story Tash!
    I love the way your wrote it using great descriptive words and paragraphs!

    I really like the end bit where you were on the newspaper and you threw it in the bin so your Mum wouldn't find it. I also like the beginning where you described the beach. Oh, and the middle bit where you were running to the lifeguard place with the eye in your hand...
    I like all of it really!

    It kinda grossed me out a bit too the bit were you had blood running down your shirt.... Ewwwww! No wonder your Mum was mad!
    Oh yeah, I know what you mean when you say you get a rash when you paddle in the water. It's true!!! That always happens to me! It's so annoying and usually really itchy afterwards.

    Anyway, the story was actually quite realistic, the way you wrote it I mean. You would usually get itchy after having a swim and people would usually be on the beach on a sunny day and your Mum would be angry if you ruined your top.

    Keep it up!

    1. Thanks Thea!
      I liked every part of your comment, I will diffidently check out your blog.